On Turning 44, January 2010

I turned forty-four this year and my wife didn't even remember it was my birthday that day. Friends I hadn't heard from or even seen in years took the time out to greet me via Facebook. Family called from Manila, and even my colleagues at the office actually greeted me. My wife was completely oblivious because of her condition, which has not been getting any better at all.

Her body is releasing toxins through her sweat, which then comes in contact with the scars on her face making them burn. So she scratches her face, which it turn makes the scars even worse. The entire right side of her face has abrasions caused by repeated scratching and it is looking much worse than when she first returned from the rehab center. It's almost as if she's fallen from a moving vehicle on to asphalt and she's used her face to slow down.

If there's one thing I learned about getting older, it's that we don't always get any wiser. My wife is going through a lot, so forgetting something that happens only once a year isn't really a big deal when you step back and take in the big picture.

Speaking of stepping back and taking pictures...



Here's a series of photographs of Little Nio sporting a red baseball cap that was a gift from my officemate, Khun Somsak, when he came back from Beijing. The cap doesn't really fit him, but it looks adorable with the rest of his outfit. He looks cute and he knows it.





Little Nio is a real character. He's got a lot of personality and he is so full of life that he is so much fun to be with all the time.



A thoughtful moment at the office. Little Nio comes with me when I have to come to work on the weekends. Once he's interested in something he can stay preoccupied for quite a while.





After going to the office we stop by Fortune Town to grab a few movie titles before heading back. Something catches his eye on our way up the escalators... it's a huge construction site. We spend a few minutes watching the big construction machines moving around. From this distance they look like his little toys.

I don't know exactly what it is about our connection, but because we spend so much time together I know exactly what he wants, what catches his attention and what he is trying to communicate. Right now, it's mostly about him wanting to be understood rather than trying to understand other people, but it doesn't curb his enthusiasm about exploring things and figuring things out.





Back at home, Little Nio tries to get some attention from his Mommy. She's not doing too well and even with a controlled constant temperature with the air conditioning on, she swings from either being too hot, or feeling too cold. Her mood swings are very erratic as well.





Back again at Fortune Town, we have a favorite Japanese restaurant on the basement level that serves gyoza. One of Little Nio's favorite dishes. He can finish off two orders of gyoza all by himself. That's ten pieces in case you want to keep count.

He's becoming picky about foods and it is starting to get challenging to get him to eat vegetables. Unfortunately he doesn't seem to have a problem with snacks and sweets.





Here's Little Nio with a peach flavored lollipop thoughtfully studying a kinetic water sculpture. There's a pump that gets the water up to the spout, which in turn drops down to make all sorts of things happen like a "Rube Goldberg" machine. It's a great example for demonstrating causality and fluid dynamics, but I suspect it might be a wee bit advanced for a two year old.



Later that evening we stop by Prachaniwet Market on our way home to grab some street food for dinner. We finish off a bowl of egg noodles before heading back home. Here's Little Nio relaxing on the bench that the motorcycle taxi gang's use as their hangout. He's unfazed by the tough neighborhood, and the local toughies seem to have a soft spot for him and he's welcome to sit with them.

Back to Life, January 2010

After all the ups and downs, life still has to happen.



Little Nio posing with his Daddy, all having lunch together at the Japanese restaurant, Fuji.

My wife's condition has not improved. Since she's gotten back from rehab, I have suspended automated deposits to her bank account. She only gets a daily allowance based on what she plans to do that day. She no longer has the keys to the front door since I already changed the locks. Our front gate gets bolted at night and my study also gets locked up. She is not going to any 12-step recovery meetings and from what I know she has been taking her medication only as often as she remembers to do so.



After a day at daycare, Little Nio drops by the office to get some rendering tips from Khun Jae, a senior interior designer at our studio.



After dropping of our car for regularly scheduled maintenance, Little Nio gets on the BTS Skytrain to have some adventures. We usually get up very early to get to the Nissan Service Center to be at the front of the queue, then we have breakfast at Café Reno right across the street from the car shop. Then we get on the BTS to go places.





Something has caught Little Nio's attention. It's a backhoe digger machine clearing some debris, preparing a construction site right next to the BTS station. He is fascinated by these construction machines and we spend about fifteen minutes watching the machine at work.



We arrive at Chatuchak Park and spend an hour walking around and just feeding the birds. We have to be very careful to keep clean and not come in to direct contact with the birds on the off chance that one of them may be infected with avian flu. Not something that we want to deal with on top of everything else.



Feeding the birds can be tough work, so Little Nio stops for a snack before getting back on the Skytrain. Here he is about to bite off one point of a star shaped goodie from Dunkin Donuts.



We make our way back to the National Stadium station and wander into the newly opened modern art museum of Bangkok. It's a nice big building, but the architecture is uninspired and bland. The construction workmanship is mediocre but the finishes are done quite adequately. In my opinion the whole place is an empty shell and a bit of a sham. There's not much in terms of modern art in Thailand, so having a museum is a bit like placing the cart before the horse.

Still, you have to give them points for trying. They at least have an impressive giant-baby-robot-animatronic sculpture on loan from Japan.





It's about ten meters tall and it's clad in shiny metal on the outside. Not sure what the insides are made of, but it still does look bizarre and perfectly at home in the new museum.



It's almost eleven in the morning and you can see that getting up early and running around town is winding down Little Nio. His eyes are getting very heavy as he works on downing a bottle of milk.



Pretty soon he is down and out for a power nap. He goes to sleep for a solid hour on the sofa of a coffee shop in the middle of Mahboonkrong (MBK) shopping center. The waiters are very accommodating and let him snooze while his Daddy quietly enjoys an iced coffee and a slice of cake.



Time for a late lunch! Little Nio slurps down a bowl of ramen and demolishes a plate of gyoza at Hachiban restaurant. I am simply amazed at how he's figured out how to use chopsticks. Neither his Mommy nor I taught him how to eat with chopsticks, so I guess he just figured out how to do this by watching us.



All powered up with energy, Little Nio takes on the arcade game "Guitar Hero". He doesn't do too badly for a 2-year old, but let's just say that he's not going to be setting the high score here.



Back at the Nissan Service Center, Little Nio spends a bit of time playing on the children's slide while his Daddy settles the payments. He's quite a big boy now, so he actually has trouble fitting in through the small door at the back and up on to the slide.



This photograph was taken a few days after. while we were out having lunch with Tito Gerald. Again, it was just the two of us without his Mommy. who decided to stay at home because she wasn't feeling well. More and more, my wife is spending less and less time with us.

Putting It Back Together, January 2010

Two weeks since my wife came back from rehab and things feel like they are slowly falling back in to place. Most days are still long and tiring for me since my wife isn't really able to help very much yet. Her condition is holding, but progress is painfully slow and it hurts just to watch her suffer. There's nothing I can do for her condition.

A small blessing is that Little Nio doesn't appear to be affected by what's going on. Perhaps there may be some effect later on, but we can only hope for now and then deal with things later on. Well at least his appetite hasn't been affected.





Little Nio really likes fried chicken and he makes no bones about it. He dives straight into the drumstick with real passion. Almost makes one afraid to be a chicken.



Here's Little Nio with breakfast. A nice bowl of fruit loops cereal. He's not very enthusiastic about this particular breakfast. I guess he's not much of a morning person. Either that or he's not a fan of cereals.



Posing with his Mommy at our swing bench in front of our home. He's got a great big smile and is really happy that Mommy is back home with us.





Lunch at Greyhound at Major Avenue. Little Nio is finishing off a big bowl of spaghetti and fried corned beef. This dish was actually for his Daddy, but after he finished off his own food, Little Nio though that Daddy's food looked yummy and decided that he should help out.



Our Christmas tree is still up on New Year's eve and Little Nio thinks it would be a great idea to herald in the coming year with some fanfare from his little trumpet.





Our last dinner of 2009. We all went out to have a family meal together at Sizzlers at The Mall Ngamwongwan, which isn't too far from our home. Little Nio always enjoys the quails eggs and the noodles from the salad bar. It's always very nice to go out together as a family.



Little Nio's Mommy enjoying dinner before our New Year's celebration.

We don't light fireworks at New Year, instead we fill our pockets with money and put coins in cooking pots. When the clock strikes midnight we shake and rattle the coins in the pots to make a tremendous noise to drive out all the bad things from the last year and make sure our home is clean and ready for all the good things from the coming year. We go through all the rooms in our house, all three of us shaking pots filled with coins at every nook and corner, making sure that nothing but prosperity and good luck fills our home.



A simple breakfast on the first day of the New Year. Still a bit sleepy from the night before, I didn't have much energy to prepare a proper breakfast, but Little Nio looks perfectly happy with a peanut butter and jam sandwich.

Christmas, December 2009

There are still such things as Christmas miracles.



After only thirty-days up in rehab, my wife, Kanittha, returns home to join us for Christmas. She's gained some weight back and her eyes have regained some clarity and a little more focus, but she's still very frail and her skin is still in poor condition. She's better, but not well at all.

She says that being there in Khon Kaen, separated far away from us was a terrible eye-opening experience. One that she would never want to repeat, and an experience that has taught her an important lesson about drugs. She said that the feeling of loss will be enough to keep her away from drugs.

Starting our Christmas day properly, we all went to hear mass at the Church of the Holy Redeemer. Having my wife back with us has been the most amazing Christmas gift ever. We give thanks and celebrate the miracle of the child, Jesus, our Savior.



Here we are right after the mass paying homage to the Christ child, the little bambino lying in the manger. Little Nio is a bit confused about the baby lying there and attempts to take the statuette home with us.



Little Nio giving his Mommy a big Christmas kiss.



Little Nio posing in front of the big Christmas tree at one of the malls.



After the mass we joined the office Christmas party, which we all celebrated together at the Tetto Lounge on the 12th floor of the new Anantara Baan Rajprasong, located very near to our office. Little Nio seems to like the vibrant red carpet and marches around the private room.



Little Nio enjoying some cake after a scrumptious buffet lunch.



Here he is making sure that my colleague, Khun Jiew, who is our Business Development Manager, is getting enough to eat. All the staff at the office know Little Nio quite well and most of the ladies have a soft spot for him. Little Nio knows this, so he really turns on the charm when he knows he can get away with it.



Making friends with the son of another office mate.



Not quite a children's party, but the two little boys seemed to get along quite well. They even share an interest in die cast toy cars.

Safari World, December 2009

Little Nio loves animals. As a treat, I decided to take him out to see some real live animals, rather than just the ones he can see on the Animal Planet channel. We drove out to visit the animals at "Safari World". Living life vicariously via the television isn't the same thing at all as actually living it.



Don't ask me for directions, I'm one of those poor folks who is "navigationally impaired". All I know is that it's about an hour away to the north of Bangkok in the province of Minburi. I took care of the driving, but the route was all plotted out by GPS. Above is a satellite image of the park (courtesy of GoogleEarth), but the cloud cover isn't showing very much.



Here's Little Nio wearing his "tiger" t-shirt all strapped in and ready to enter the park. Admission into the park (without any of the shows) for children is free, and adults only pay something like a hundred baht, or less. We didn't do any shows, which could last the entire day, so we managed to drive the course of the park in a little less than two hours. Tickets for the various shows are more expensive and they go up to 450 THB for children and 875 THB for adults.





First looks at zebras for Little Nio.



He looks a little bit upset that there's a cement mixer in the park with the zebras, but apparently that truck is mixing feed for the animals.



Some really ugly looking ostriches. Some of them had large patches of exposed skin missing their feathers. They're not exactly attractive birds to begin with, so without the feathers they are even less so. Let's not even talk about the smell.



Little Nio points to a camel. The camel just stares back at us. I'm not sure if camels can point back with their toes.





There is a large water reservoir in the middle of the first part of the park and in it there are several "islands" that the birds use for nesting. You can see a couple of giraffes in the background.



Safari World boasts having one of the largest giraffe herds outside of Africa.



They also have an impressive number of rhinos mixing in with the zebras.



Little Nio pointing to one of the deer.



Here he is pointing to a whole bunch of them. I think these are actually a kind of antelope, the Oryx.



Impressive horned beasties of some sort. I forget what they are called, but as soon as I figure that out I'll jump back in and edit this post. These beastie beauties were near the end of the park section where you are allowed to roll your windows down. Every where else after that section needed to have the windows rolled up all the way and the doors locked securely.



Driving through a series of gates arranged as a sluice passage, we enter into the more dangerous part of the park. We pass a pride of lions lounging in the shade.



Not much further along we pass a whole group of tigers underneath a makeshift shelter out of the sun.



Here's a more active group of tigers. I started to wonder how the park staff managed to separate the lions from the tigers, when clearly one could easily drive from one part where we saw the lions to the next one where most of the tigers were sitting around.



It appears that the park doesn't bother to separate the lions from the tigers. Here they are all sitting around together. There are a few birds hopping around between the big cats just to make the menagerie even more interesting.



Towards the end of the park, Little Nio starts pointing to one of his most favorite animals - the bears.



We had a really good time together that morning. After Safari World we drove back to the nice air conditioned comfort of a modern mall where we had lunch before going home.